色々な感じだった --- during dance practice

2011年5月10日
13:13

Today, I came late to campus as usual, running my legs from dormitory to class. Knocked at the class door and opened it, then I saw the teacher and everybody looked at me, fortunately he let me in.

After class, there's a dance training I've to join coz I'm the leader of that dance. So, I and some friends went to a building near campus that's always used by us as a training place. Practice, practice and practice, this dance really made me exhausted. Then we took a rest for a while to cooling down.

This building is not just used by us. Cluster o people are there, everyday. This afternoon while taking a rest, I sat in the corner of the hall with my friends, then I saw three people drawing on big papers. I know that they must be students of faculty of technology of this university. Making me down in another side.

2011年5月13日
14:39

I really hate them. This is dance practice time, and they with a box of reasons are trying to postpone this practice. They really are damn stupid! Tomorrow is the time to show, and they still got nothing. I really hate them, especially the boys, the freaking damned boys! How can they make some stupid reasons, girls here are cute, they will think I'm freak when we dance here, I don't want, u don't know, I'm afraid to people, bla bla bla bla bla . . . . Why those boys think that they're that cool???!!!! Come on, where ur awareness? Just realize that u're not that cool!

What can I do, instead I join their freaking conversation, better I stay away to the corner and write what I feel now.

Talking about those shit reasons, there's a reason of them again when I ask them to continue our practice, u don't know what I feel, those people have different view, this dance is not cool, this is a traditional dance!. Oh, come on, I know this's not cool at all, but why u can consider ur damn self as a cool one if u just can make this lil thing to be something cool! What a pity! For true, u got nothing to be proud of. Guys, I hate u! it's really make me having a bad times staying with u all. u're miserable hideous friends I ever met.

Hmmm . . . I hear their're cheering each other there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so lame. I don't know . . .

I really need a song here, I can't express my self, I spend almost my free time to enjoy the silence coz I got nothing to do or how can I express my self. Still, I feel all alone, just me and my self in this world. Oh God . . . Can u give any help, give me many things that can make me feel happy, I never feel real happy with friends. I even don't know how can I call them friends . . . I don't want friends like them.

それ、じゃ。。