Scholarship,man !!!

2011年6月2日
8:02

Yesterday I joined a scholarship test, a scholarship to study tour in Japan for about 2 months exactly spending about 2 months in autumn. What a nice tour, besides it's free. Talking about the test, that's not exactly my level, it's fuckin' difficult. I never learnt those before, 漢字, 文法, I felt like I was illiteracy of the fonts, lol. Looked at another face yesterday, they looked so pale, it's quite a hard test. If I could reach that . . . Well, but I don't really put a big hope in it because I got one thing to focus.

I prefer to paying my attention to a big scholarship that I already signed up, I've sent my qualification files and filled the form. I really hope that my files are accepted and I can join the next qualification, and finally get it. If I . . . I don't know, God, it's just about my dream. I try hard not to put my big hope in it, but I can't. I'm trying hard to ignore it till the announcement's announced, but I can't, it's such my dream, I meant it's huge, man! This is Japan government scholarship, offering to study and continue our higher education in Japan, with high quality education for sure, and the government will finance us as long as we study there. I meant, who doesn't want this scholarship. I know it might be so hard for me to get that, to get it. I know I might start imagining when the first time I took the form from Japan Embassy office in this town. I know I might not pass the qualification, but what can I say, how wonderful I am if I pass and get it. I'm supposed not to imagining so far, it will be so painful if I feel dropped to the rough ground.

Let me make a lil story telling here. The day I wanted to take the scholarship form from embassy office, I forgot to bring my identity card. It's in another bag at home. You know, guys, how tight the security at office like that. I couldn't come in without that identity card. So I decided to back home and bring it with me. I realized that home's far away from campus, so, I teased my friend, and got borrowed a motorcycle. Then I asked one friend to accompany me to home. Well, everything was still nice till the police stopped us in the middle of the road.

"Show me your identity card and drive licence . . .", the policeman said.

"(panic, I don't know what to do, besides, I don't bring any cards, and fuckin' unfortunately, I don't have drive licence, and you know, this is not my motorcycle!) But, sir, I don't bring any cards. That's why I wanna go home and bring them with me, please, let me go,sir,I'm really in hurry . . .", I'm begging.

Without saying anything, that police drove the motorcycle and brought it to their boss. Then I saw a big-stomached policeman with black lame glasses and asked me several times where my licence is, then I answered the same answer several times. I didn't know what to do, I knew I was wrong in this case, but, really, he's so annoying. I though I was out of my mind, felling so mad, finally I called my aunt to help me. His husband is a policeman too, maybe he could give me favor. She would arrive at the place I was waiting in few minutes. While I was waiting with my friend, another friend who had that thing I drove sent me a message, he had to pick up his sister, he asked me to move faster. And more, another friends who were waiting for me because we planned to go to embassy office together, messaged me that I've go back to campus soon, or I'll miss the form, embassy will be closed at 4pm. I looked at watch, oh, God, I was here in two hours more and my aunt didn't get here yet. I messaged her and she said she's on the way, she left her seminar for me.

Oh, man, I really already gave these people a bad time. Fortunately me, they already helped me. Thanks guys, aunt, thank you so much. After a few minutes, that police came standing in front of me, I ignored him with mad expression on my face, I didn't say anything. Suddenly he gave me back the key and said, "I help you, kid, just go . . .". Can you believe that? I just stared at the key on his hand and didn't say anything for a minute, I realized then I said what about my aunt, she's on the way here. He said to me that it's up to me, the point is he already gave me the key, I was free to go, or I could wait my aunt. Immediately I messaged her, asked where she is and told that the police had freed me. Directly she made a call to me, I answered the call and let her talk with the police. よかったね, finally I could continue my drive to home and back to campus with all identity cards I need. What a heavy day . . . I backed to campus and told my friends the reason why they had to wait so long. After that I thanked them for helping me.

This is not the ending part, I still had to go to embassy office immediately before it's closed. I arrived there with my friends at about 2.30pm. That's the first time I came to that office, the security is really tight. I and friends put our identity card at security check desk, left our bag and we only could bring the needed document for form qualification. I came in, waited for my turn to take the form. After my turn, they qualified my documents and decided I only could take D2 study program. Then I said it's ok, I want to take specialized training college. Beside we can continue D2 to S1 degree as a third year students. Yeah, if I pass the test of course . . . Then she asked me to wrote my name on the list paper and gave the form. Finally I got the form. Actually, this is not the end, of course. This is just begun, the starter point of all. Even I'm not sure I can get it, I mean it's maybe so heavy for me to reach that, but I'll do the best. What a long day that day . . .

Ya ALLAH, my only God, what can I say? I always need You, without You there's no me, I can't run my life without You, I need You, God. Please, help me to make my dreams come true, help me to create a beautiful victory of my life. Please forgive me, I'm dirty with sins, forgive me, God . . . Forgive me . . . I'm sorry God, I really am sorry, maybe I'm rude to ask You about this quite a big dream for me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, forgive me . . . Ya ALLAH, forgive me . . .
Oh God, whatever the announcement later, I've to be broad minded. In the end if I don't get it, maybe I don't deserve it, haaahhhhhhh . . . Don't You know, God, I do this all besides for my own-self, it's all about for my parents, I really want to make them proud, I want to change our life. It's so clear it's all about them after many things they've given to me, they've done to me. For my parents, mom, dad, I promise you, I'll become a success woman, I'll buy you anything, I'll take you around the world, just ask to what you want and I'll fulfill them. I PROMISE YOU, THE BEST PARENTS EVER, I'LL BE A SUCCES BUSINESS WOMAN AND MAKE YOU PROUD. Sooner, Amin . . . I'll try and do my best to make all of these coming true. Bless me God . . . Even I might be so over in mentioning my dreams, forgive me, God . . .